It’s that point of yr the place everyone seems to be setting targets. As we speak, we’re going over our targets for final yr and what new ones we’re setting for 2024. Plus, we’re sharing our winter guide membership picks.
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Present Notes:
An replace on our 2023 targets:
Elsie:
- Work on an enormous artwork venture (and share on the podcast) by the tip of the yr (Did the artwork venture however will likely be sharing it this quarter on the podcast)
- Learn 52 books (and cease studying if not hooked three chapters in) (Achieved!)
- Leap round to completely different genres of books (Achieved!)
- Journey to at least one new place (Achieved! Went to Seaside in Florida)
- Prioritizing artistic time day-after-day (Failed – too obscure of a objective)
Emma:
- Work extra on her psychological well being (Achieved!)
- Getting again into health (Achieved!)
- Be extra in line with going to remedy (Achieved!)
- Submit her novel to brokers (Achieved!)
Our targets for 2024:
Elsie:
- Enter artwork period
- Work on way of life
- Be a reminiscence mother
- Keep true to her phrase that she shouldn’t be renovating her home
Emma:
- End and put out the audio guide
- End weblog publish checklist for the yr
- Develop a child, give start, and hang around with them for a number of months
Listener Query: What to do once you really feel you achieved your targets? Do you rejoice or simply transfer on to the following one?
Have a good time each achievement alongside the best way to engaging in your objective.
Q1 guide membership choices:
The Solely One Left by Riley Sager
The Lifeless Romantics by Ashley Poston
The Braveness to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi
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Episode 214 Transcript:
Emma: You’re listening to the Stunning Mess Podcast, your cozy consolation hear. It’s that point of yr when everyone seems to be setting targets. As we speak, we’re going over our targets from final yr and what new ones we’re setting for 2024. Plus, we’re going to share winter guide membership picks, and I’ve a really huge announcement for you.
Elsie: Okay, so earlier than we bounce in, I believe we are able to all agree. We simply wish to hear what the announcement is.
Emma: The announcement is I’m pregnant. Yep. I came upon the day after my guide got here out, so it was October twenty third 4th, fifth, or one thing.
Elsie: Oh yeah! I keep in mind since you obtained a bottle of wine and also you made an Instagram collaging it.
Emma: Yeah! I made this champagne bottle that appears form of like the quilt of my guide after which I made a bunch of minis for like first readers and my editor and issues like that. And I by no means obtained to open the champagne as a result of the following day I came upon I used to be pregnant. So anyway, I took it with associates, so that they obtained to drink it and I had a tiny sip. So there you go. Additionally, simply the timing of it’s discovering out the day after my guide got here out. Proper after that, like you realize, there are occasions such as you don’t see a buddy for every week or two or no matter, and you then run into one another and other people stored being like, Oh, hey, congrats. And each time I’d have this second of like, How do they know I’m pregnant? After which I’d be like, oh, they’re speaking about my guide. And so it could be like on my face, this like, what are you speaking about? Oh, proper, my guide. And I really feel prefer it gave folks the impression that I like, didn’t care about my guide or I had instantly like forgotten about my guide, nevertheless it was simply the following day came upon I used to be pregnant. And so impulsively my mind switched into, I’m pregnant mode and that’s the largest information in my life and I form of did neglect about my guide not as a result of I wasn’t enthusiastic about it, however as a result of life shifted impulsively. It’s an enormous shift in your mind.
Elsie: It modifications every part. We have been like instantly like within the cellphone name the place she known as me simply to inform me, we instantly have been like speaking about planning and stuff, you realize, such as you simply can’t assist it, it impacts each single factor.
Emma: It does. You’re like, okay, so timing, like my complete yr is form of deliberate out in a method, you realize, that’s simply what it’s like.
Elsie: Properly, I already understand it’s an ideal child being born in the summertime, the proper time for a blogger to have a child. There’s no higher time of yr.
Emma: I completely deliberate it. No, I didn’t. However sure, I’m due on the very finish of June, and also you most likely don’t keep in mind, however my son was born on June 2nd. So Oscar will flip three, and if this child comes round their due date, then they are going to come someday proper after Oscar. In order that they’ll be principally precisely three years aside.
Elsie: Two summer season birthdays, like, that’s excellent, too.
Emma: I believe it’s actually cute. However yeah, everybody’s already like, oh, you’ll need to determine about kindergarten when you’re gonna put them in, you realize, like, I’m like, ah, that appears distant in the intervening time as a result of I’m simply pregnant.
Elsie: You don’t want to fret about that proper now.
Emma: However I’ve no plans so on it. So I’m like, I’ll cross that bridge later.
Elsie: Yeah. I believe it’s form of cool to have like a discretionary, you are able to do it both method.
Emma: Yeah. I believe it’s cool.
Elsie: ‘Trigger a number of birthdays are like, you possibly can’t do it both method. That is your yr.
Emma: Yeah, it’s good. You may form of see how your children doing, see what is sensible. Yeah, for positive. So, we’re very excited.
Elsie: I converse for everybody after I say that is one of the best information ever. It’s gonna be an incredible yr. Like, I’m so excited for you, and I do know everyone seems to be screaming of their vehicles proper now.
Emma: I’m very excited, and yeah, I’ll be 38 when this kiddo’s born. As for recording this, I’m like recording it earlier than my first trimester’s over, it’s simply how our schedule works. So it form of nearly makes me somewhat bit anxious, however by the point you’re listening to this, I’ll be into my second. And I’ll additionally know the intercourse by the point you hear this, however I don’t understand it in the present day so I can’t inform you.
Elsie: That’s thrilling. I can’t wait. One other little summer season child. Yeah. It’s gonna be an incredible yr. So yeah, we’ll replace you afterward within the spring about our schedule, however I believe we’re just about taking the summer season off, and the precise dates, are TBD. Yeah. Somewhat breaky break. We’ll be good. However yeah, we’re excited to be again for spring now and we now have some superb episodes lined up for you. We’re actually enthusiastic about this subsequent season.
Emma: Oh, yeah. Very enthusiastic about this season.
Elsie: So, this episode is New 12 months, New Objectives. I really like a goal-setting episode. It’s considered one of my high, most likely high three favourite topics that we speak about. I simply suppose it’s thrilling and it’s like so cool how life is stuffed with so many new beginnings, you realize, so many alternatives for a contemporary begin and, you realize, flip a brand new leaf or, like, make a brand new objective or strive a brand new dream. And that’s, like, one of many issues that, like, retains me motivated in life.
Emma: Identical. So we thought earlier than speaking about targets for 2023, we’re going to replace you on a few of our 2022 targets. So we’ll simply undergo them and say how we did or say, like, how they modified or no matter, as a result of typically targets change. That’s how issues are.
Elsie: Yeah, learn them and, like, not even keep in mind what we mentioned. Yeah, I simply learn by way of them. Okay, I’ll do mine first because it’s first on the checklist. So my first objective of the yr was to, I keep in mind I used to be very obscure about this, work on an enormous artwork venture and share it by the tip of the yr. And so the replace is I did work very laborious on this venture this yr, however I didn’t share it by the tip of the yr, clearly, however I will likely be sharing it quickly this yr. So it’s like on this quarter, I’m going to start out sharing my artwork and I’m going to make a web site and issues like that. In order that’ll be an thrilling time. That’s what I meant on the time, however yeah, it didn’t occur fairly as on schedule, which nothing ever does, however I’m completely satisfied that it’s nonetheless occurring. And yeah, final yr was a difficult yr. So I’m nonetheless good with the way it all went down. Learn 52 books. So I often do this yearly. Now that I’m on the audiobook way of life.
Emma: You learn too, however, like learn, learn I imply, ’trigger audiobooks are studying.
Elsie: I learn paper books, however undoubtedly extra audiobooks. It simply actually works with my mother’s way of life. I do them after I’m grocery procuring. I do them after I’m on walks, or decide up. It’s nice. So yeah, I learn greater than 52 books final yr. So verify, achieved. Good with that one. Leap round to completely different genres of books. I believe I did that somewhat bit higher final yr than I did the yr earlier than, however I’m nonetheless a comparatively new reader. It will solely be my third yr of studying fiction, so I nonetheless really feel like there are a number of like actually well-known authors that I haven’t even touched but. And there are undoubtedly nonetheless some genres that I’m fascinated about that I haven’t learn.
Emma: Yeah, I do suppose you’re a reasonably eclectic reader although.
Elsie: Thanks.
Emma: Even like your curiosity.
Elsie: I undoubtedly don’t have one style that I’m dedicated to in any respect. So, yeah, like if I dedicated to just one then I believe there wouldn’t be sufficient books for me. I care extra about like the sensation that I’m getting from the books than just like the story and the you realize, like I don’t want like a constant like I couldn’t keep all in fantasy on a regular basis like some folks do which it appears like so enjoyable for them however I believe I would really like bounce round. Yeah journey to at least one new place so we did really do this final yr I’m stunned as a result of we simply didn’t journey for therefore lengthy. We have been, you realize, we obtained caught in our COVID way of life and, I do know lots of people with children skilled this, however we have been like, we have to freaking journey. Certainly one of our kids didn’t have a passport but, you realize, similar to all this stuff that we have to strive for the primary time. We have been planning to have like a 10-year anniversary abroad throughout COVID occasions. And now it’s most likely going to be like a 13-year anniversary abroad or one thing like that.
Emma: Cool, higher late than by no means.
Elsie: Proper. So the brand new place we went to final yr was Seaside in Florida is rather like so cute. It undoubtedly obtained onto my checklist of favourite American cities, like Charleston New Orleans, and Palm Springs. It has that form of spirit about it the place you’re similar to, these homes all match they usually’re all cute and I can’t consider that is actual. It appears like a film really a film set for the Truman Present. They only used the city as their backdrop and it’s darling, so completely satisfied we did that. And Emma and I are going to go quickly, in order that’ll be enjoyable. After which, yeah, my final objective was prioritizing artistic time day-after-day. I believe that that’s a really obscure and bold objective, so I can’t say I did it day-after-day.
Emma: Imprecise and bold, sure.
Elsie: That’s possibly, like, not the best way to make a objective, proper? So, I don’t know, possibly a fail on that one. Okay, inform us yours.
Emma: However you probably did do a number of artistic work final yr since you labored rather a lot in your portray and made a number of significant progress.
Elsie: I did have a number of artistic time, however I believe possibly I understand now that possibly I’m not an on a regular basis kind of particular person for something. For like I wish to get into one thing for every week or two after which get into one thing else for every week or two and possibly it’s okay to have extra of a batch-working pastime system.
Emma: Yeah. I believe that’s positive. Yeah. Okay, so mine from final yr was to work extra on my psychological well being. I had a very robust yr in 2022, a really unhealthy, fairly darkish yr psychological health-wise. So I used to be like, okay, that’s gotta be an enormous factor for 2023. And I’m completely satisfied to say that I did work rather a lot on my psychological well being in a number of other ways. One of many different targets on my checklist that feed into this was I mentioned to be extra in line with going to remedy, which I did. And there are different issues, too, that I’ve been doing for my psychological well being. Easy issues like happening walks and issues like that, however, you realize, different issues, too, like meditation, and I attempted hypnosis, and simply I don’t know, stuff, different issues. There are many methods to method that, and I undoubtedly made {that a} huge precedence final yr, and it made an enormous distinction. My life feels rather a lot lighter, my thoughts feels rather a lot lighter, and I really feel rather a lot happier. And I’ve rather a lot much less days the place I’m similar to despair, you realize, so I really feel like that was a, you probably did it. Not that I’m executed with that objective, however simply, you realize, I did work on that in 2023. And I believe that was superior. Okay, I additionally did getting again into health, which I did many of the yr. I went to Physique Pump rather a lot and likewise went on tons of walks. I’ll say I form of dropped off somewhat in direction of the tip of the yr, nevertheless it’s as a result of as you now know, I’m pregnant. And my first trimester, I used to be extraordinarily sick, very, very, very nauseous for principally two strong months. It makes it laborious to work out.
Elsie: Yeah, she couldn’t stand any smells. She had like so many aversions.
Emma: It was tough. I nonetheless go on walks so far as health goes. Yeah. It was a tough time, however you realize, didn’t final ceaselessly. I’m already feeling higher. In order that’s all good. After which my final objective that I had from final yr was to submit my novel to brokers. Which I did, I submitted it to a number of brokers. And plenty of of them I didn’t hear again from, and those that I did all rejected it. So I made a decision to self-publish, and I did that final yr. And I’m actually proud of that call. It’s labored out nice.
Elsie: Yeah, I’m actually happy with you as a result of one thing I actually admire about Emma is the flexibility to all the time end. She’s like so constant, so centered. And if there’s a roadblock that, for me, would make me, like, stop, for her, it nearly by no means does. So, it’s an excellent high quality to have.
Emma: Thanks.
Elsie: You made it work.
Emma: I believe too, I can get very tunnel imaginative and prescient about, like, I don’t know phrase this. I simply don’t fear an excessive amount of about what different folks suppose. So I simply am like, effectively, I’m going to determine this out for myself, it doesn’t matter what. I don’t have any qualms about wanting like I didn’t do it the correct method or, oh, it wasn’t excellent. I can’t consider you continue to did it. Otherwise you’re not certified to do issues. All of these issues which might be, like, voices from different folks, I simply don’t care about any of that. So, I’ve sufficient issues in my very own head criticizing myself that I actually don’t have house for different folks. So, I simply don’t even fear about that. I simply do my factor. And I believe that makes it simpler to complete and transfer ahead typically. So that you don’t have these fixed, you realize, voices in your head form of factor. Okay, so ought to we speak about our targets for 2024?
Elsie: Sure, so we’re simply going to shuttle and share a few of our 2024 targets. So, my first one is, that I wish to be getting into my artwork period. So, I shared somewhat bit about that earlier than, however I wish to turn into an artist. I’ve been engaged on it. It’s one thing that could be a dream of mine that I’ve had, actually, since childhood. I really feel like I lastly have simply the tiniest little little bit of house in my life to deal with it and I’m going to take that chance and I undoubtedly see it. There was a time final yr when Emma mentioned on the podcast that she was constructing one thing for her 50-year-old self by writing fiction and I cherished that. I give it some thought on a regular basis. And that’s how I really feel about doing the artwork now. I simply wish to begin one thing that’s steady, that I’m constructing for the longer term, and I’m not nervous about, like, the pace I’m going at. Truthfully, my requirements are very low normally for, like, what number of work do you wish to do? Like, I don’t have any targets like that. I simply wish to preserve doing it, preserve having fun with it, preserve experimenting, and like, form of similar to nurture a enjoyable yr. So I believe I can do this. And It feels actually thrilling.
Emma: I like it once you’re in your portray eras too.
Elsie: Oh, thanks.
Emma: I really like seeing like your period, like all of the paint simply piled up and like simply all of the stuff you’re making. It’s cool man. So I’m glad you’re again into it. It’s superior. And now her period contains child artwork the place you possibly can inform like the children have been hanging out together with her whereas she was portray they usually’re making their factor and you realize, it’s only a enjoyable period.
Elsie: There’s a number of coexisting, my studio is certainly a shared house and I like it.
Emma: Yeah, I like it. Okay, my first objective huge objective for the yr is to complete and put out the audiobook model of Handmade Homicide. So I actually needed to do that earlier than the tip of the yr final yr however now, as you realize, I’m pregnant and I used to be very sick, and that’s principally why I didn’t get it executed. I simply was very sick, and all I might actually do was get my common work executed, that like really pays my paycheck, which isn’t writing proper now, and be a superb mum or dad, one of the best mum or dad I might be whereas being sick. That’s all I might do. In order that’s all I did, and I didn’t get the audiobook executed. I’m planning to learn it myself. Each as a result of I believe a number of you’ll most likely take heed to it and also you’re used to my voice, but in addition for funds causes, I’m self-publishing as you realize, so the thought of sitting and studying for hours whereas I used to be that sick, I simply couldn’t do it. There would have been so many like my editor must like, take out so many like, blah, oh, so I used to be like, nope, can’t do it, however I’m nonetheless going to get it executed and it’s nonetheless an enormous precedence to me as a result of I believe audiobooks make your work a lot extra accessible. , I’ve folks in my life with low imaginative and prescient. I additionally personally love audiobooks and I understand how a lot you take heed to audiobooks. It simply makes it like simply far more accessible for therefore many various causes.
Elsie: I believe that so many individuals have a job the place they, like one thing you do along with your fingers the place you possibly can hear. It really will increase my focus, I believe.
Emma: Yeah, me too, like, after I’m enhancing photographs, I take heed to one thing, all the time.
Elsie: Yeah, so that you simply don’t simply, like, begin clicking on random issues. Yeah, I believe that it’s one thing that I imply, I believe that the success of podcasts and the success of audiobooks are form of the identical factor. It’s like this place in your life the place you possibly can simply have somebody in your ear and it turns into like an enormous a part of your life. I like it.
Emma: Yeah. And there’s somewhat piece of me that’s like excited to do it. , I had an period of my life the place I took a number of appearing courses and I used to be form of on this period the place I used to be doing somewhat little bit of performing. I’m not a performer in that method, however I believe studying my very own guide sounds really enjoyable to me, and so I’m wanting ahead to it. And so, I believe that was somewhat piece of it, too, was I used to be like, I don’t wish to simply muscle by way of this simply to get it executed. I want to take pleasure in it, as a result of I’ll not all the time learn my books, however I might need somebody extra certified for me to do it sooner or later. However this one, I believe I’ll. I believe it is sensible. So I’m excited. That’s on my checklist. It’s a objective. It’s form of a holdover from final yr, however I did have a superb cause and I don’t really feel unhealthy about it, nevertheless it’s on the checklist now.
Elsie: I wish to hear again once you’re executed, like how difficult it’s as a result of it appears to me, it appears actually difficult.
Emma: I do really feel like studying one thing could be very completely different as a result of the one time you hear us learn on this podcast is the intro. And once we do advertisements.
Elsie: And the ghost tales episodes.
Emma: And the ghost tales. So, it’s fairly completely different than simply chatting. Like even simply the best way you maintain your physique. Like to want to have the ability to learn and have a microphone, you realize what I imply? It’s somewhat little bit of a ability.
Elsie: Yeah, it’s a really practiced ability to make it all the time really feel pure. And in addition just like the voices, like a number of narrators, you realize, use completely different voices and even like accents and every kind of issues. So I’m very excited to listen to the way it goes for you.
Emma: Yeah, I’m excited to do it, and I believe this can be a good guide for me as a result of a number of characters are based mostly in Missouri and a number of influencers and a number of girls, so I really feel like I don’t need to have that massive vary of, like, completely different appearing you realize what I imply? So, I believe it’ll be enjoyable. Anyway, I’ve talked about this too lengthy, however the audiobook’s coming, it’s on my checklist, and I’m engaged on it. First objective of the yr.
Elsie: Good. Yay. I’m excited. So, my subsequent objective, this can be a little obscure, however I’m leaving it on as a result of I believe it’s one thing I actually need, is I actually wish to work on, like, my way of life. So, final yr, I undoubtedly felt that I used to be in survival mode for a lot of the yr, we have been within the largest renovation we’ve most likely lived by way of. Nah, possibly like with children. One other huge one. It’s laborious to say. It’s laborious to quantify them. We have been renovating. We have been shifting. It was my first summer season having children dwelling for the entire summer season with no little one care, which was a really huge change. Nobody was like, Hey, you must be ready. And simply another issues. Yeah. Some private issues. And it was a difficult yr and I’ve had a number of moments the place I used to be like breaking down and crying and being like, I believe I might, like, there’s no cause why I can’t make my way of life rather a lot like extra joyful and completely satisfied and similar to little issues to look ahead by way of all through the week So it’s actually like little issues, however I simply wish to have like a superb way of life like a superb wholesome way of life filled with you realize household time and Hobbies and issues for me and alone time, you realize and like not as a lot hitting these partitions of, like, burnout and exhaustion and, you realize. I believe it’s laborious for any mum or dad and actually, most likely any working particular person and there are many the explanation why it occurred, however I undoubtedly felt like I might focus extra on myself, the entire put your personal life masks on idea, and that that is perhaps like good for everybody.
Emma: Yeah, I can all the time inform that I’m getting into burnout as a result of I yell at my canine much more. The primary particular person to get abused by a poor canine and I’m like, oh, I believe I would have to take a nap or go have a snack, one thing’s mistaken. Okay. Yeah. I like it. My second objective on the checklist is principally to attempt to end my weblog publish checklist for the yr. So we’d speak about this in one other episode if persons are . Tell us. I believe persons are .
Elsie: This is without doubt one of the topics I actually wish to speak extra about.
Emma: However to sum it up for now, till we do a extra in-depth what’s our enterprise as much as episode, to sum it up, Elsie and I and Laura, we now have a complete checklist of what weblog posts we’re going to do for all of 2024. We made the checklist in direction of the tip of final yr. It’s an enormous checklist, as you possibly can think about as a result of we publish day-after-day.
Elsie: We’ve by no means deliberate a complete yr forward of time earlier than, we often plan month by month. So that is extraordinarily bold just like the checklist was big. It was actually completely different for us.
Emma: Yeah. To know what I’m going to work on this Might in the present day is form of humorous, and I believe some folks wouldn’t prefer it. And in some methods, it’s bizarre like in some methods it’s not as spontaneous. , however there are additionally some issues about it that I actually love. Like when you made a professionals and cons checklist, I believe the professionals checklist is method longer for me. And it’s a very lengthy checklist. I additionally plan to do a bit of labor forward. I’d wish to have posts go up whereas I’m on maternity go away. And naturally, it’s not a requirement, nevertheless it’s simply one thing that I take pleasure in. It makes me really feel like I’m nonetheless form of current whereas I take day off to take care of my newborns. So anyway, I’m planning on doing somewhat little bit of that. And, yeah, in order that’s principally an enormous objective of mine. That’s what I’ll be doing throughout all my work hours, however I’m enthusiastic about it. And it’s an enormous checklist, so it’s undoubtedly like a, you possibly can’t be losing your time, you possibly can’t be having too many, you realize, women who lunch moments. You actually gotta keep on this checklist right here somewhat bit, so. But it surely’s enjoyable. I like having a little bit of a grind. It’s enjoyable.
Elsie: Yeah. I gained’t take over your objective, however I agree. It’s like so inspiring. Okay, so my subsequent one is to be a reminiscence mother. So I believe when I’ve occasions of feeling like I’m in survival mode as a mum or dad, you realize, I believe there’s method an excessive amount of, method, method, method, method, method an excessive amount of guilt on mother and father. There’s method an excessive amount of parenting recommendation on the web, greater than we are able to ever presumably like apply or use or, you realize, it simply turns into typically like one thing that may be form of suffocating. So, yeah, the factor that I deal with after I simply wish to form of get again to the massive image is core reminiscences for the children. And the reality is that core reminiscences don’t occur day-after-day. They don’t even occur each week. They’re extra like as soon as a season, prefer it’s like, what’s the massive factor, the massive thrilling factor that I’m going to do for them this season. And possibly there are elements of life the place you are able to do a complete bunch without delay this spring. What’s the one factor we are able to do with the children that we’ve by no means executed earlier than that we all know they’ll love? That, you realize, it’s going to be like, you realize somewhat bit of additional work for us, however have an enormous payoff for his or her reminiscences. So, yeah, that’s my objective for the yr. I believe that after I first grew to become a mother, I felt like I needed to make day-after-day, like, particular and excellent and artful and, like, all the time be making cookies. It was enjoyable within the occasions after I was in a position to obtain that. However within the occasions after I wasn’t in a position to obtain that, it was simply form of like deflating. So yeah, now on this present period of my parenting journey, I can see that it’s a marathon and that it actually doesn’t should be that many reminiscences. Identical to specializing in the massive ones.
Emma: No, I like it. And yeah, my final objective for the yr, so I simply have three, Could be very a lot about momming as effectively, as a result of the objective is just about to develop a child, give start, and hang around with them for at the least a number of months whereas they alter into being on the earth, you realize? And I believe that it’s on my checklist. In some methods, it’s like, effectively, in fact I’ll do this. So, why would you even put this on a objective checklist? However I additionally really feel like when you don’t make house for one thing that’s essential to you, even when it’s like, yeah, in fact, you’ll do it, however Should you don’t make the house for it and form of additionally like put it on the checklist to offer your self a like that is one thing essential and once you accomplish it, you need to really feel good. You shouldn’t simply really feel like, Oh, I simply did the naked minimal. It’s like, no, you probably did one thing that’s laborious and also you’re centered on it. Yeah, no, I don’t wish to overfill my plate. And I simply wish to know that like, that is essential. And this can be a huge a part of my yr this yr and I really, you realize, have a number of occasions I believe each mum or dad does this, however I’ve a number of occasions the place I’m like, oh, you’re not that nice of a mother. You’re not current on a regular basis. You’re not, you realize, no matter your children in daycare, you’re not there on a regular basis. However then I all the time attempt to take these steps again and be like, no, no. Truly, I’m doing the easiest that I can. I actually am, and I’m very happy with the mother that I’m. I believe adjusting from being a mother of 1 to a mother of two is one thing I’ve by no means executed earlier than, and I’m going to make the house to let myself do it and let myself have laborious moments in it and be unhealthy at it at first and possibly be unhealthy at it for some time. And that’s okay as a result of I’m simply gonna do my perfect, and that’s all you possibly can ever do.
Elsie: Yeah. I believe that that’s actually, actually sensible. Once I went from one little one to 2, I don’t suppose I actually did that. I believe I assumed that it could be simply the identical, however higher. And it was a really laborious transition, and that’s really the yr I began remedy. So, I believe that realizing forward of time that like, the transition isn’t most likely gonna be straightforward is nice, you realize, after which whether it is straightforward, good for you. For some folks it’s, however for some folks it’s not. Yeah. I believe that’s actually good.
Emma: I don’t know which it’ll be for me, however I’m going to make the house for it.
Elsie: Good. Yeah, preserve that plate good and empty since you really, have a lot you’re doing already.
Emma: Yeah. It’s going to be a terrific yr. Yeah. It will not be like a quote-unquote high-achievement yr, but in addition it’s a high-achievement yr and I’m excited for it.
Elsie: Yeah. I believe will probably be. Okay. My final objective is to remain true to my phrase to myself that I’m not renovating my home this yr.
Emma: You are able to do it, Elsie. You are able to do it.
Elsie: Yeah, I don’t even suppose we’re gonna construct a swimming pool this yr. I haven’t selected that one for positive. If we do it, that’ll be the one factor. And I’m allowed to place wallpaper within the laundry room. That’s form of only a very small factor.
Emma: Yeah, that’s a small factor.
Elsie: However yeah, apart from that, we’re lastly executed renovating. We’re at a cheerful resting place, and we had some, like, actually critical marriage conversations final yr that, the place my husband was expressing that, like, he felt like we had been renovating for 10 straight years, and yearly I used to be saying it was nearly executed, and that was true. Yeah. And I believe I didn’t understand I used to be getting burned out till after I used to be fully burned out and we have been nonetheless in the midst of it and we like form of a few of we form of had to take action proper now we’re on like a compelled hiatus and we selected it however we additionally I’ve to form of like drive myself as a result of it’s in opposition to all of my habits like every part inside me simply needs to start out renovating initiatives. Like, far more than I can deal with on a regular basis, however I simply wish to see what it feels wish to not stay that method. And I undoubtedly really feel that I owe it to my household for them to see what it feels wish to not stay that method. So yeah, this yr, no renovating and that’s one thing that I believe might be actually optimistic.
Emma: I prefer it.
Elsie: Oh, so we now have a listener query.
Emma: That is from Sharon. She says, what to do once you really feel you achieved your targets. Do you rejoice or simply transfer on to the following one?
Elsie: What a terrific query to have. Okay, I believe you need to rejoice each achieved objective. I even suppose you need to rejoice simply working in direction of a objective. Like, I believe you need to reward your self all alongside the best way, particularly if that’s one thing that helps you. It’s like, considered one of my essential hacks for achievement is celebrating. And I believe it’s like, annoying typically, like, what number of little presents I’ve to offer myself, or what number of occasions I’ve to inform Emma each little achievement in our work, you realize? And he or she’s like, I do know!
Emma: I simply despatched my bizarre presents. That’s all I ever do.
Elsie: I believe celebrating is an especially essential a part of being a superb goal-setting particular person at the least it’s for me. I believe when you don’t rejoice your achievements and also you solely simply transfer on to larger and higher, then that’s actually unhappy for one. However I believe additionally, like, don’t you suppose that’s extra seemingly that you’d burn out? And form of like setting your self up for you realize, I don’t know. Identical to benefit from the freaking achievement.
Emma: Yeah. I imply, I believe everyone’s completely different. I’ll say typically the achievement appears like a celebration. It actually relies on what you’ve executed. what I imply? Like what the achievement is. And I’ll additionally level out that celebrating an achievement is obscure. It might imply a number of issues. True. Like there are occasions I do one thing small and I actually simply go on a stroll, and I am going on walks usually that’s a part of my health life and a part of my psychological well being. And I do what I name my gratitude apply, which all I’m doing is speaking out loud to myself about issues I’m grateful for. Generally a part of my gratitude apply contains primarily telling myself how nice I’m doing at one thing, telling myself like, so if I simply obtain one thing, then I’m like strolling round my neighborhood, speaking out loud to myself. Once I see somebody, I cease. I don’t wish to look loopy, however speaking to myself about how, Hey, you probably did that factor. You labored on that for 2 months, and it appears nice, and you probably did it, you realize, or no matter it’s, or like, you have been form of scared to start out that, and you probably did it, Emma, you began, and also you completed it, and, you realize, no matter. So typically celebrating could be actually small, like that, after which typically once you rejoice, it needs to be huge. It’s best to, like, have dinner with a bunch of associates, and it’s since you did one thing that you simply’re happy with. And like, that’s cool. That’s a cool transfer. You don’t have to really feel, like, bizarre about that. It’s enjoyable, and individuals who love you’ll like to rejoice you. It relies on what the achievement is, is what I’d say. However I do suppose, like, you possibly can all the time discover at the least a small option to rejoice a small achievement, however for these huge achievements, I do suppose you need to, like, make a plan and, like, do one thing.
Elsie: I agree. I believe discovering methods to rejoice which have an enormous number of, like, worth factors. And time dedication, like issues which you can similar to do, you realize what I imply? Like easy issues and like saving these huge epic issues. I believe huge epic issues are thrilling too. I’ve realized that over time it’s laborious to acknowledge your self. It’s simpler when you’re like, you’re in a job the place they offer out a number of awards or they’ve like a chart on the wall or one thing, however once you your self. are the proprietor of a enterprise and also you make an enormous achievement, a number of occasions we’ll similar to roll previous them. Discovering methods to mark these achievements with one thing, you realize, in your personal reminiscence, I believe is admittedly wholesome.
Emma: Yeah. Additionally, that is associated, however actually small. It is a factor I do. Generally associates or my husband or, you realize, no matter, my mother and father will likely be like attempting principally to rejoice me. They’ll be like, you probably did a very good job with this. Like, Elsie’s one of the best cheerleader on the earth. Each time you’ve gotten moments like that, strive actually laborious to simply be quiet and hear and say thank you rather than simply brushing it off as a result of that’s like all the time my inclination when somebody offers me a praise to simply deflect it. I get it, it doesn’t make you extra humble to deflect, by the best way. Simply let folks inform you that you simply did a superb job and simply take a second and soak up it. And say thanks.
Elsie: Deflecting each praise is only a unhealthy behavior. It’s not an indication of humility. It’s actually form of unhealthy manners too. It’s regular, everybody does it, however once you untrain your self and also you turn into in a position to settle for a praise, I believe that that’s such a superb signal of development.
Emma: Yeah, I agree.
Elsie: Cool. Ooh, so subsequent we’re going to speak about our Q1 guide choices. So, we determined to do three books this quarter, and they are going to be for January, February, and March. And as a reminder, our guide membership is Willy Nilly. What do you suppose is the precise definition of Willy Nilly?
Emma: Unfastened. Undefined. I don’t know.
Elsie: So, we’re going to learn three books that we’ve by no means learn earlier than, and this time we’re doing two fiction and one non-fiction. We selected a form of suspenseful guide, after which we selected a romantic guide, after which we selected a self-help guide that appears form of, like, the title appears very promising to me.
Emma: Yeah, to be sincere, I haven’t had anybody suggest the nonfiction. We simply form of, like, noticed it in an inventory, and as we have been, like, studying the outline, we have been like, this sounds good. So we form of don’t know, however we’re gonna give it a go and see the way it goes.
Elsie: Even when the guide is disappointing, the idea is admittedly essential.
Emma: The idea’s nice.
Elsie: So I really feel like I’m . Okay, so the books we’re doing are The Solely One Left by Riley Sager. That’s our suspensible guide.
Emma: After which we’re doing The Lifeless Romantics by Ashley Poston, which is like extra of our cozy, I don’t know if it’s gonna be tremendous romantic, however the premise makes me suppose, like, I don’t know if it’s a romance only for my romance readers on the market. I don’t know if it’s fairly in that class. I believe it’s gonna toe the road, however I believe it’s gonna be extra of a comfy learn like anybody would like it kind factor. Look it up.
Elsie: After which the non-fiction guide we’re selecting this time is The Braveness to be Disliked by Ichiro Kashimi. And we haven’t learn this guide, we’ve by no means heard it really helpful. I believe it was first in style, is it in Japan? However I really like the title, The Braveness to be Disliked. I believe that for girls, for folks within the web period, there are simply so many various the explanation why this is perhaps essential to you. I do know many people are self-identified folks pleasers. I’d like to unlock an unhinged period for myself the place I simply, like, really have enjoyable. I’d love that.
Emma: Yeah. And I additionally, once more, we haven’t learn this but, so we’ll see. However from the, like, subtitle and, like, the outline that was, like, inaudible, I’m positive it’s on the again of the guide. It doesn’t appear to be it’s like, not give a fuck and be an asshole. It looks as if it’s extra like, hey man, that is gonna allow you to with happiness. That is gonna allow you to to heart on your self and like what you actually need and who you might be and be assured in that. I believe it sounds nice. I’m wanting ahead to it.
Elsie: Yeah, I’m excited for positive. These three books, put them in your learn checklist if you wish to learn together with us and we will likely be doing the guide stories someday earlier than March.
Emma: And now it’s time for a joke, or a reality, or a meditation with Nova.
Elsie: Hey Nova, what do you’ve gotten for us this week?
Nova: A reality.
Elsie: A reality? Okay.
Nova: Do you know the tune Jingle Bells was really meant to be a Thanksgiving tune, however by the point it turned out to be a Christmas tune?
Elsie: What? I don’t suppose anybody knew that. I believe you taught us all a brand new reality in the present day.
Nova: Have a superb week. Bye.
Elsie: Thanks a lot for listening. You may submit your questions at podcastatabeautifulmess.com anytime or name us on our voicemail at 417-893-0011. what we might additionally like to listen to is recommendations for the consolation rewatches for the spring and summer season, nope, simply the spring, that aren’t vacation films. Something that’s not a vacation film, that’s a consolation rewatch for you, we wish to hear. And we now have been gathering a number of recommendations. It’s so enjoyable. So we’ll be again subsequent week with a deep dive into our favourite winter issues.
#Episode #12 months #Objectives
